I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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