oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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