He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
