You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Did I show you my penis last night?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
