do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
