If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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