11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
