My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
