1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
