If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
pray to the hookup gods
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
