you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
