is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
