I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
