I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
