just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
