yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
