im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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