Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
