you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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