i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
