Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
