Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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