Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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