so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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