It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
