I must be too annoying 4 u.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
