You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
