Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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