We're facebook friends in real life
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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