brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
