hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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