well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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