You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
