I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How's work?
Spinning.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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