people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
