I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
