She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
