Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The adults are the big ones right?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
