Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Verdict: uncircumcised.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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