i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Your dad touched me again.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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