my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
