I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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