you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
