You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
