he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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