The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
