so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Green mimosas i think yes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
