he puts the penis in happiness.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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