All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Will you blow on my dice?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
