Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
